today: everything, rearranged

“My mind was yelling how angry I was, but my heart, my heart…”
-Carrie Bradshaw in some Sex in the City episode

octraj040

Perhaps it’s a funny thing to go visit a family to for the second time in a year when you are single and not related. Even if you pick up work along the way, it maybe doesn’t make a lot of sense on paper. But I’m not sure I’ve ever done what makes sense on paper very well. I am sure that I find my feet grounded by being around people I love and who love me back without a lot of pretense. Maybe these months and weeks and days of trying to figure out how to live the way I think I’m wired (called?) have been allowed to push me around a bit. I find myself regrouping here, though, and selfishly that’s why I come. These days in this house are shrouded in grace and peace. They point me back to the places where my security is, and God in his kindness, allows me to see everything, rearranged.

It is good, even if it doesn’t make sense on paper.

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One response to “today: everything, rearranged

  1. We all loved having you here (especially Sam) and can’t wait to see you again!

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