“All of us have had the experience of a sudden joy that came when nothing in the world had forewarned us of its coming- a joy so thrilling that if it was born of misery we remembered even the misery with tenderness.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery in Wind, Sand and Stars
A lot of things are going on. A lot of things are changing. All the mundane, though, still gets done. I like the rhythm of the mundane most of the time. Today, the day after lots of people heard about so much change, I woke up emotionally spent, edgy and unsure of, well, anything. But I needed to eat. I needed to do laundry. I needed to run. I paid some bills and planned a trip. By the time these things were done, some of the edginess wore off. And it was good.
I thought maybe, just maybe God met me for a few minutes this afternoon, but I struggled to let Him be Himself. This is what happens in change, for me. I so. want. control. But God is patient, and whatever semblance of a relationship we have is wholly His goodness. So there’s that.
Amber and I had some work that had to be finished tonight, so I drove over to her house. We worked our way through a wedding. Let me let you in on a secret about being a photographer. Sometimes (often, really) the people you photograph become your friends. And then you find yourself standing at their wedding celebrating with them, genuinely excited for them. You are also excited about the story you are getting to tell. And you are also excited about the free beer. So you document it.
At some point as we worked our way through the wedding we were finishing, we came across a photograph that made us laugh. It made us laugh hard. It made us laugh so hard that both of us were sitting at the desk in Amber’s room with tears running down our faces. I can’t share the photograph, as the humor was found in a most unflattering circumstance for one wedding guest. I haven’t laughed like that in a while. And it cut the tension in me right down to size.
Maybe everything will be crazy forever. Who knows. Maybe none of my questions will get answered, and maybe I’ll never figure things out. Maybe, but probably not. In the meantime, here’s what I remembered today: it’s a good idea to throw a bit of silly and a lot of humor at whatever your present page is. Tomorrow the mundane will get done all over again. It will provide rhythm and steadiness. Laughter, though, in the midst of all the crazy, is life’s melody. And if laughter is the melody, then joy is the dance.